The SAD face says it all.
I remember how I felt the week that I took this picture.
Still dealing with the feelings of inadequacy.
Still feeling that I could never fully decipher between the healthy balance of looking good and feeling good.
Why would I self sabotage my dreams to simply be a certain size or weight?
Why did I never want to go places? This is what it feels like to be clinically depressed and exhausted.
Much of this had to do with not only how I felt about myself inside, but also what I was trying to portray outwardly.
What a job it became to “keep up with the industry.” And for what??!
There was no monetary gain, I didn’t feel accomplished whatsoever.
That feeling of accomplishment for me did not come until I was helping other people as well as continuing to work on my inner self peace.
Building self-worth is vital for your mental well-being and general well-being.
I realized the dial was always on high.
It was never in the middle or even on low. How could I not feel exhausted?
I literally stopped competing with myself. I started realizing my best was more than good enough.
I stopped following things that made me feel ashamed and inadequate.
Food shaming stopped for good.
Placing an over obtainable high standard for myself stopped.
Among other benefits, believing in myself gave me the best freedom to be brave and move outside my “masked” comfort zone.
Truth be told, nobody cared if my hair, makeup or body looked flawless.
It is so easy to get caught up in the worldly fake norm.
If you are not fulfilled from the inside, what you do with your makeup, hair, body, diet, training, none of it matters you have to look at what’s broken or in disrepair and fix it.
That process is much like building muscle.
It takes time consistency, consideration, commitment, sacrifice, failure, success, change, adjustment and all the other things that are great but also hard.
If you’re still struggling, don’t give up you’re never too old to work on yourself, trust me. Be braver than ever.
Every year I need to remind myself where I was 5 years ago and how much I have truly accomplished.
Keep moving forward and don’t give up.